Create a very fast cowl. With the #6 Weight yarn, it works up in about 2 hours and makes for an excellent gift for yourself or a gag gift. Possibly a while elephant party gift too. 
 
The words spell out Cold As F#ck. The chart is provided with the pattern to follow along with this concept. 
 
This is an item Daniel, my partner, wanted, as he is much more boundary-pushing than I am. I developed the pattern for his cowl and am sharing it with you. 
 
I prefer not to use whole language like this and have replaced a couple of letters with #.  I'm not the fashion police; decide what you like. 
 
These are subtle enough that, when you tuck them into your jacket to stay warm, you can decide which faces out. Unless someone asks you, they may never notice your hidden message. 
 
Bernat Super Fluffee. 280 g / 9.8 oz, 163 metres / 178 yards.
A - Aurora, 1 ball. 71 yards / 4 oz
B - Cloudy, 1 ball. 85 yards / 4.7 oz.
 
Hook: 8 mm / L/11 
 
Gauge: 9 waistcoat stitch and 11 rows = 4” [10 cm]
 
Size: 22” circumference by 8.5” wide.